Passed on by someone else's EAJ...
It's hard to beat a canny Scot...
A man in Scotland calls his son in Australia the week before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day son but your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son replies, hardly believing what he's hearing.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer" the father says. "We're sick of each other and fight like cat and dog... so call your sister in Paris and let her know."
Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this!"
She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there by Christmas Eve. Until then, you're not to do a thing... DO YOU HEAR ME?" and she slams the phone down.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to the wife. "Well that's all sorted! They're both coming for Christmas... and what's more, they're both paying their own way."